Sis, I need to talk to you about something that might sound contradictory, but I know you’re feeling it. You feel like you’re too much for him: And at the exact same time, you feel like you’re not enough: You’re simultaneously too much AND not enough. It’s like you’re taking up too much space while
Sis, I need to talk to you about what happens inside you when he pulls away. One day, everything feels good. Connected. Close. You feel secure. Then he pulls away. Maybe he’s distant. Maybe he’s “busy.” Maybe he’s suddenly cold where he was warm. Maybe he’s stopped texting as much. Maybe he’s emotionally unavailable when
Sis, I see you giving everything you have to this relationship. Feeling replaceable in a relationship can be deeply painful, especially when you are giving your best. You’re showing up. You’re being loyal. You’re loving him with everything in you. You’re meeting his needs. You’re being the kind of partner you’d want to have. You’re
Sis, I need you to think about something. When was the last time you felt like you could just be in your relationship? Without performing. Without proving. Without constantly demonstrating that you’re worthy of love. I’m guessing you can’t remember. I see you in a perpetual audition. Trying to prove you’re girlfriend material. Showing him
Sis, I see you pouring everything you have into this relationship. You’re giving your time, your energy, your love, your body, your patience, your understanding. You’re showing up. You’re trying. You’re being the best partner you know how to be. And somehow, it still feels like you’re not enough. No matter what you do, no
Sis, I need you to notice something about your conversations with him. You talk to him for 30 minutes, an hour, maybe longer. And when the conversation ends, you’re exhausted. Not the good kind of tired that comes from a deep, meaningful connection. Not the comfortable fatigue of vulnerability and intimacy. You’re drained. Depleted. Empty.
Sis, I need to talk to you about what happens when you try to set a boundary. You tell him something that makes you uncomfortable. You express what you need. You say, “I’m not okay with this.” You communicate a clear limit. And he dismisses it. “You’re overreacting.” “You’re being too sensitive.” “That’s ridiculous.” “You’re
Sis, I see you trying to address problems before they become crises. You mention something that’s bothering you. You bring up an issue that needs attention. You point out a pattern that’s hurting the relationship. You try to have conversations about things that need to change. And he ignores you. “It’s not that big of
Sis, I need to talk to you about what happens after you disagree with him. You had an argument. Maybe it was resolved, maybe it wasn’t. Maybe you were right, maybe you were both partially right. Maybe you apologized, maybe he did. But now he’s punishing you with silence. Not the comfortable silence of two
Sis, I see you trying to have a conversation about something important. Maybe it’s an issue in the relationship. Maybe it’s something he did that hurt you. Maybe it’s a problem that needs to be solved together. You’re calm. You’re respectful. You’re not attacking. You just need to communicate. And he shuts down. He goes
