Setting boundaries in a relationship starts making a lot more sense when you realize somebody should not keep getting full access to you while repeatedly giving you reasons to protect yourself from them. He hurts you, disappoints you, disappears when you need him, disrespects you, breaks your trust, or keeps doing something you already told
Sis, if choosing yourself makes you feel selfish, I want you to understand something important. When you are constantly overgiving, your love becomes mixed with fear. You are not always giving from fullness. Sometimes you are giving to avoid abandonment, conflict, guilt, or rejection. But when you begin to choose yourself, your love becomes cleaner.
Sis, I need to talk to you about why I feel selfish for choosing myself and the guilt that stops you from prioritizing yourself. You have a choice to make: And when you choose yourself, you feel selfish for choosing yourself. Not just a little guilty. Deeply, crushingly selfish. Like you’re doing something morally wrong.
Sis, I need to talk to you about why I feel responsible for keeping the peace and the job you never applied for but somehow ended up with. There’s tension in the room. Conflict brewing. Discomfort building. Someone’s upset. And you immediately go into action: Because somehow, keeping the peace is YOUR job. Not because
Sis, I need to talk to you about why I say yes when I want to say no and the word you can’t seem to say. Someone asks you for something. Everything in you screams NO: And you hear yourself say yes when you want to say no. Not because you changed your mind. Not
Sis, I need to talk to you about why you feel anxious when someone is upset with me and how it controls your emotions. Someone might be upset with you. Maybe. Possibly. You’re not even sure. But the mere possibility sends you into a spiral because you feel anxious when someone is upset with you:
Sis, I need to talk to you about why you overextend yourself to avoid disappointing others and how you’re destroying yourself to keep others happy. You’re already at capacity. Exhausted. Overwhelmed. Running on empty. You have nothing left to give. But someone asks you for something, and you say yes because you overextend yourself to
Sis, I need to talk to you about why you feel undesirable when comparing and how comparison makes you feel unwanted. You’re with your partner. You’re in public together. You’re scrolling social media. You’re at a social event. And you see other women. Women who seem: And instantly, you feel undesirable when comparing yourself to
Sis, I need to talk to you about why comparison destroys your confidence and how you lose yourself the moment you start comparing. You wake up feeling good about yourself. Confident. Capable. Enough. Then you scroll social media. Or you meet someone new. Or you see another woman. Or you hear about someone’s success. And
Sis, I need to talk to you about why you assume other women are better than you and the ranking system you’ve created in your mind. You meet a new woman, and you automatically assume other women are better than you. Not sometimes. Not occasionally. Every single time. Before you know anything about her, before